Monday, July 30, 2007

Chapter Five - Thesis Statements

oo3. Say whether you think the following statements fit the definition of a thesis. Why are why not? If they could be improved, what would the writer have to think about?

a. I want to write my paper about sports and society and how it should be changed.

No, that definitely doesn't fit the definition of a thesis. It is poorly written and looks like a 6th grader came up with it. The writer would need to completely re-word the sentence in order to make it make sense and not sound so childish. Maybe...This paper is regarding sports in our society and how it could be changed. Or something. I honestly don't even know whether the writer is referring to changing sports or society or both!

b. Some people just don't know how to take a joke.

This could pass as a thesis statement in my book.

c. I wish people would stop bugging me about what I'm going to do with my life, so I can find out.

I don't think so. I think it would be better worded like this: 'So I can find out what I want to do with my life, people should stop bugging me about it.' It clearly defines what the writer wants to actually find out about.

d. The widespread use of surveillance cameras in public places has increased people's fear.

This one seems pretty good to me.

e. The use of he and man to refer to both men and women is sexist.

I think that one is pretty good too.

f. The Federalist Papers should be read by all students before they graduate from high school.

The writer needs to have why they feel that students should read The Federalist Papers instead of just stating that they should.

g. All teaching will someday be done by computers, leading to a more effective education for all students.

And finally, I think that sounds pretty good. I may be wrong though!

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